Recipe Crack, what?
I keep seeing these recipes with crack in the title, as in this recipe is so good it’s addictive, habit-forming, enslaving even. Recipe Crack, what? When I first mentioned my annoyance with the “crack” recipe references, I got a lot of dead air responses, silence and questions like “what the hell are you talking about?” But then I started pointing them out to myself, to check if I was being annoyed about nothing, and quickly realized no it’s not just me, it’s a thing.
Here’s a little sample of the crack recipes: crack pie, crack dip, crock pot crack candy, crack cookies, chocolate crack, milk bar crack pie, bourbon dark chocolate crack cookies, chocolate caramel crack(ers) SO WITTY, s’more crack, crack balls, peanut butter crack balls, gluten-free crack pie, super bowl caramel corn crack recipe, nutella crack pie and omg so many more originally titled crack recipez. Plus there’s savory crack: cheesy ranch crack bread, crack potatoes(THEY’RE LOADED LOLZ), bacon crack, salami meat crack, crackslaw, crack n cheese, salmon crack dog treats, crack beans, bourbon street crack chicken. Well don’t forget the holidaze crack heads: crockpot Christmas crack recipe, Halloween crack, new years eve crack, Christmas cookie crack bites, birthday party sparkle crack, midsummer crack juice.
Ok, I threw in a few fake ones at the end but most of the recipe titles are the real deal and every single one claims “this is so good my friends call it crack because(GET THIS, SO FUNNY AND ORIGINAL) they can’t stop eating it. HA!
I don’t know, I kind of wonder if any one of these people has ever really seen a crack whore? Have they sold her single condoms so she can stay clean? Have they witnessed her teeth kicked out of her head? Have they seen her dragged into a car by her pimp because she dared to tie her shoe instead of obeying immediately? Doubtful. But I have and those images juxtaposed against people who have too much time, money, and not enough adjectives make me want to vomit.
I tried replacing the word crack with meth to see how it sounds, it’s also gross, methslaw, christmas cookie meth, nutella meth pie. What about heroin? Heroin candy, heroin pie, dark chocolate heroin rum balls. Hmmm, maybe they need a thesaurus.
Crack, it’s a drug, it kills dreams, it’s not funny. Recipe crack isn’t original. Please just stop.